In this modern age, so many have cultivated relationships out of thin air, literally.  Blogs and comments, emails, and dating websites have given extended life to the childhood imaginary friend.  Sometimes, the extent and depth of the communications create a sense of true knowledge of one another.  Sometimes, additional information verifies or at least confirms such knowledge.  These new-era relationships remind me of penpals.  When I was twelve, I had a penpal in Costa Rica.  I never met him, but we corresponded for two years.  I did not contemplate love at such an age, but I remember crying when his mother died.  I remember sending him books and toys, using money I typically spent on things for myself.  I remember longing for his letters and thinking of things I could do for him.  In the spirit of "loving one another," I believe I did.  Flash forward.

In law, in order to succeed on a cause of action, one must prove each element of that cause of action.  For instance, to succeed in a negligence action, one must prove (1) that the defendant owed a duty to the plaintiff, (2) that the defendant breached such duty, and (3) that the plaintiff suffered injury or damages thereby.  In life, I find myself pondering if love can exist "virtually."  The emotion is familiar but perhaps recast in a light and reality that is new.  In attempting to understand this emotion, I wonder, what are the elements of love?

If I love someone, perhaps I (1) desire to communicate with them honestly and regularly, (2) feel the same way towards them even when they are having a bad day, are angry, are being argumentative, or are not easy to deal with, (3) desire to listen to them without the need to control the conversation, (4) desire for them happiness, even if it has nothing to do with me, (5) am uplifted, encouraged and supported by their presence in my life, (6) desire only to uplift, encourage and support them, (7) miss them when they are out of touch, (8) respect their ideas, thoughts, and plans without feeling the need to change them, (9) will lend my time, my help or more even when it’s inconvenient for me, and (10) desire to have them as a consistent presence in my life always.  I certainly may have failed to list other elements of love, but I believe these things are the foundation of a love relationship.  Notice that "sharing the same interests" is not an element.  I share similar interests with many I do not love, and some I love have little in common with me.  Likewise, physical attraction is not a required element of love.  I love many to whom I am not physically attracted, of course.  These additional characteristics can serve as supporting evidence, though, and can serve to further define the emotion.  For instance, if the 10 elements listed are present and if I also share similar interests with the person and am physically attracted to the person, then perhaps the relationship has a healthy chance of becoming romantic.

Of course, in the world of laws, successful proof of each element of the cause of action is only one facet of the case.  The defendant may have certain defenses that can serve to eliminate liability or limit it.  Based upon my consideration of the evidence, love can exist in this long distance, words-only format.  Does it matter that the geographic distance between the two makes a walk-in-the-park-date a thousand dollar event? Does it matter that the two have never met?  Are these successful defenses to love?

In closing argument, I present that one’s willingness to experience an emotion, with all the risks and benefits that come with it, is a personal choice.  Matters of the heart are not easily analyzed in a vacuum and are not always explained to the satisfaction of those not a party to the action.  The specific defenses of distance and lack of face-to-face time do not eliminate the possibility of love, although they clearly diminish other possibilities.  Absent abuse, neglect, and other clear violations of the relationship covenant, who has a right to question another’s feelings?  Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love does not envy or boast.  Love is not prideful. Love is honest.  Love is selfless.  Love is.